HI,
I KNOW IT HAS BEEN A GOOD MINUTE SINCE I WROTE ON MY BOG.I AM GOOD AND WHOEVER IS READING THIS I HOPE YOU AND YOURS ARE WELL.I HAVE THINGS INEED TO GET OFF MY CHEST I GUESS.TO ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE BOY HAVING CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING BUT IT IS THE HARDEST JOB NOT KNOWN TO MAN EXCEPT TO THE WOMAN OUT THERE IKNOW YOU FEEL ME.
I AM A SINGLE MOM OF TWO AS I STATED IN MY FIRST ENTRY.KIDS ARE KIDS AND BOY DOTHEY MAKE YOU TALK THE THINGS THEY DO.ANYHOW MY SON IS GOING THREW THE FASE WHERE THEY THROW FOOD AWAY. SO I HAD TO PUNISH MY SON THORING AWAY FOOD IS A SIN.FOOD SHOULD NEVER EVER GO IN THE TRASH, I RATHER IT BE PUT IN THE FRIDGE AND WARM IT 50 X THEN TO THROW IT AWAY.
WELL FOR THOSE OF YOU DO NOT KNOW ME WELL I WAS AM ABUSED CHILD.SO TO WRITE ABOUT MY CHILD IS VERY VERY PAINFUL AND I STILL LIVE WITH THE SCARES YOU GET.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW,ABUSE IS SOMETHING YOU NEVER EVER HEAL FROM THE SCARES ARE AS FRESH AS THE DAY THEY WERE INFLICTED.PEOPLE SAY OH IT IS THE PAST GET OVER IT ALREADY;YOU CANNOT.THE DAMAGE CANNOT BE REVERSED YOU CAN ONLY KNOW IT IS NOT YOU FAULT.IT IS THE ADULTS RESPONSIBILITY,TO PROTECT AND LOVE YOUR CHILD.THE ABUSE DESTROYS, SELF-ESTEEM,TRUST IN OTHERS.I FIGHT EVERYDAY TO FEEL WORTHY.
THE CHILDHOOD I HAVE HAD AS NO PICNIC I HAVE NO GOOD MEMORIES OF MY MOTHER.YOU MAY WANT TO JUDGE ME AS I TELL MY FEELINGS ABOUT MY LIFE AND THOSE IN IT.JUST REMEMBER "WHO FEELS IT KNOWS IT."HAVE FELT IT MORE THAN A CHILD SHOULD.AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED I LIVED MY CHILDREN'S PAIN AND MY GRSNDCHILDREN'S PAIN FOR THEM MAY THEY NEVER FEEL THE PAIN I FEEL.THE SAD THING IS IT WAS BY THE HAND OF MY MOTHER THE ONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.THAT'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMETHING GIVEN TO YOU BY GOD AND AS YOU HAVE CHILDREN IT GETS STRONGER UNBREAKABLE.I SADLY LEARNED IT IS NOT SO,WELL.. WITH MY MOM ANYHOW.
ANY HOW ON WITH MY SON SO I PUNISHED HIM ,SHE HAD THE NERVE TO TURN TO ME AND SAY SHE IS GOING TO CALL THE COPS.NOW AS AN ABUSED CHILD I WENT OFF SHE USED TO MAKE ME EAT IT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE TRASH AND IF I PUKED SHE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME YOU HEAR ME.I GUESS I AM WRITING THIS TOO AS A WAY TO HEAL TILL THIS DAY MY MOM THINKS SHE HAS DONE NO WRONG AND WHATEVER I DID AS A YOUNG CHILD KNOWING NOTHING I DESERVED IT.SHE SAID I WAS A BAD CHILD,SHE SAID SHE WISH SHE LEFT ME TO DIE IN MY HOME COUNTRY OF HAITI PORT-AU-PRINCE. LUCKY ME I AM NOW A MOTHER AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THE THINGS SHE HAS SAID AND DONE TO ME THAT YOU COULD SAY THAT TO YOUR CHILD YOU CARRIED NINE MONTHS GAVE BIRTH TO AND RAISED AND YOU CAN SAY THAT TO A CHILD.
WHEN I WAS TWO SHE PUT MY HANDS IN BOILING WATER AND BURNT THE SKIN OFF MY HAND.AND SHE CAN TELL ME SHE IS GOING TO CALL THE COPS ON ME.MY RESPONSE IS THAT I WOULD CHARGE HER FOR THE ABUSE SHE CAUSED ME.
WELL THAT'S A TID BIT OF MY LIFE COME BACK SOON TO LEAR MORE.I AM NOT WRITING THIS FOR YOU TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME.LIFE IS HARD VERY HARD BUT YOU DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING TILL YOU KNOW WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN.I KEPT ALOT OF THINGS PRIVATE BUT HOW CAN YOU HEAL IF YOU DO NOT LET IT OUT.I WANT TO GIVE POWER TO WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN THREW THIS.DUE TO THE ABUSE I RAN AWAY AT 15.IWAS ON THE ROAD TO NOWHERE UNTIL I MET MY MOTHER MAUREEN A. WRIGHT SHE IS THE WOMAN WHO SAVED ME SO EACH ENTRY I DEDICATE TO HER.I HAVE GROWN TO BE A STRONG LOVING CARING WOMAN AND AN AWESOME MOM. I HAVE ALOT TO LEARN AS A MOM,BUT WITH OUT MAUREEN I WOULD NOT BE THE MOM I AM TODAY SO MAUREEN A. WRIGHT I LOVE YOU AND THANKS FOR TEACHING ME HOW TO BE THE WOMAN I AM TODAY.SO THANKS FOR READING MY ENTRY I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT FOR THE MOST PART.TALK TO YOU SOON BE SAFE.