HI I AM NOT EVEN SUREWHAT TO WRITE ABOUT,I WILL JUST HAVE SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT I GUESS.LIFE IS REALLY SOMETHING ELSE HOW MUCH BULLSHIT SHOULD SOMEONE HAVE TO GO THOUGH.IS THERE A QUOTA OR SOMETHING ?I MEANS SURE EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE TO PAY THEIR DUES BUT SHIT.
HOW MUCH HARDSHIP,PAIN ,TEARS,LOSS,FAILURE ECT. SHOULD A PERSON HAVE TO SUFFER BEFORE BEING ABLE TO BE HAPPY?SOMEONE VERY CLOSE TO ME SAID "ANYTHING IN LIFE THAT IS WORTH HAVING WILL TAKE BOOD,SWEAT AND TEARS."THAT IS TRUE BUT REALLY???ENOUGH ALREADY,YET THOSE WHO DECIEVE,CHEAT,STEAL THEY GET EVERYTHING GOOD LIFE HAS TO OFFER.
I HAVE LEARNED THOUGH THE PAIN YOU LEARN TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY,YOU TREASURE WHAT TRUELY MATTERS.I HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE AND LOVE HARD,BUT I SHOULD NOT OF HAD TO LOOSE SO MUCH IN ORDER TO GET IT.I KNOW THAT THE PAIN,TEARS,FAILURES,LOSS AND ECT. ALL MAKE YOU THE PERSON YOUR ARE,YOUR CHARACTER IS DEFINED BY YOUR LIFES JOURNEY.I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE HAVE TO WAIT TILL SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS UNTILL THYE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.AT WHAT COST???A LIFE OR LIVES YES THAT IS HOW IT GOES WE SWEEP ISSUES AND PROBLEMS UNDER THE CARPET OR GIVE BAND-AID SOLUTIONS INSTEAD OF TAKING THE BULL BY THE HORNS AND DEALING WITH THE PROBLEM.THEN WHEN SHIT REALLY HITS THE FAN AND COSTS US A LOVE ONE THEN YOU WANNA FIX IT?THE SAD THING IS MOST OF THESE PROBLEMS ARE PREVENTABLE.YET IT IS LEFT UNTILL SOMEONE GETS HURT,THEN WE WOUNDER WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU KIDDING ME??WE ARE SO DIVIDED WHEN NEED TO START THINKING LIKE HUMANS AND NOT ANIMALS.WE ARE THE SMARTEST ANIMALS IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.YET WE ARE THE DUMBEST,NATURE IS NOT KILLING ITSELF IT REPLENISHES ITSELF AUTOMATICLY.WE THE HUMANS ARE KILLING EACHOTHER ,AT THIS RATE THERE WILL BE NOTHING FOR OUR CHIILDREN'S CHILDREN'S CHILDREN'S CHLDREN WILL HAVE NOTHING TO ENJOY.WE NEED TO LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE OUR FUTURE IS STILL GENERATIONS TO COME .THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT WE NEED TO BE PARENTS AND DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS TO COME.THINGS ARE SO BAD NOW I CANNOT BARE TO THINK WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE IN GENERATIONS TO COME.LIVE LIKE TODAY IS YOUR LAST,FUCK LIKE YOUR BEING TAPED,LOVE AND LOVE HARD.DO NOT TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED.YOU THINK THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AND YOU CAN LOOSE IT ALL IN A BLINK OF AN EYE.LOVE YOU ALL THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE SOME OF ME WITH YOU.TAKE CARE BE SAFE AND I WILL BE BACK SOON.
I AM NOT A WRITER I JUST HAVE BEEN THOUGH MORE THEN A PERSON DESERVES TO GO THOUGH IN A LIFE TIME SO I NEED TO VENT,THINK, CLEAR MY HEAD.MAYBE SOMEONE CAN FIND COURAGE IN WHAT I WRITE,MY STORIES AND THOUGHTS AR E ALL TRUE AND FROM THE HEART TO OPEN MY HEART AND LIFE TO YOU IS MY WAY OF HEALING.MAYBE I CAN HELP SAVE A LIFE WHO WANTS TO END IT BECAUSE WITH MY STORY I HAVE FELT THAT WAY MANY TIMES.I AM A SURVIVOR AND IF I CAN HELP SOME NOT FEEL SO ALONE LIKE I DID.THEN IT IS ALL WORTH IT,IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT THEN PLEASE DO NOT READ IT.TAKE CARE MUCH LOVE HANG IN THERE AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE......GOD
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
MY SON'S FRIST TRIP ON AN AIR PLANE
HI IT HAS BEEN A LITTLE BIT SINCE I WROTE ,JUST THINGS HAVE BEEN CRAZY.MY SON TOOK HIS FISRT PLANE RIDE WITHOUT ME ON NOVEMBER 7TH,2010.I AM WRITING ABOUT IT AS I SAID I USE THIS BLOG AS A DIARY AND A WAY TO SHARE ME WITH YOU .
I MOVED WIHT MY KIDS HERE TO ALBERTA A YEAR AGO FROM TORONTO.I KNEW THAT MY SON MY KIDS WOULD HAVE OT GO BACK AND VISIT AT SOME POINT.WELL...I THOUGHT I WOULD BE OK WITH MY SON GOING.I DIDNOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM GOING TO SEE HIS FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY ALONG WITH HIS FAMILY.I AM ASHAMED TO SAY I WAS A MESS TWO DAYS BEFORE HE LEFT WAS NOT ABLE TO SLEEP AT ALL.THE REALIZATION THAT MY SON IS GROWING,THE REALITY OF PACKING HIS BAG.
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I COULD NOT FEEL ANY WORSE,I WAS IN TEARS.AM I CRAZY??IS THIS NORMAL? AT THE MOMENT MY SON IS WITH HIS FATHER AND I KNOW HE IS SAFE THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT ,BUT I WANT HIM HERE.I AM HIS MOM WHENI AM NOT BEING MOM I GUESS I FEEL THROWN OFF.I COULD NOT SLEEP TILL MY SON'S PLANE LANDED AND HIS DAD TEXTED ME TO TELL ME HE WAS SAFE IN HIS HANDS.
MY DAUGHTER WILL BE GOING TO UNIVERSITY IN FOUR YEARS ,YES THAT IS A LONG TIME. TIME FLIES,YOU BLINK A FEW TIMES AND THE YEAR IS OVER. I AM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THE YEARS WENT MUCH LESS BEING IN 2010.THEN I THINK ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD AND HOW ANY MOTHER,BEING A MOTHER MYSELF CAN HURT HER CHILD.
CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING THERE ARE SOMANY WOMEN WHO WOULD BE GREAT MOTHERS AND CANNOT HAVE A CHILD.THEN THERE ARE WOMAN WHO HAVE THEM THEN DUMP THEM IN THE TRASH,ABUSE THEM,DUMP THEM LIKE YOU DUMP YOUR DOG AT THE POUND NOT EVEN.YET THEY ARE BLESSED WITH CHILDREN.
I LOVE BEING A MOTHER THAT IS MY BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT.THEY ARE WHAT I AM PROUD OF MOST,I CAN NEVER LET THEM LEAVE THE HOUSE OR GO TO BED WITHOUT HUGS AND TELLING THEM I LOVE THEM.STOP ACTING LIKE TOMORROW IS PROMISED BECAUSE IT IS NOT. SOMETHING YOU THINK THAT CAN NEVER HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS CAN HAPPEN IN A BLINK OF AN EYE. TREASURE IT.
ONCE YOUR DONE READING THIS GO TO THE ONES YOU LOVE ,TELL THEM WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART .YOU MAY NOT GET THE CHANCE AGAIN WHEN YOU SAY NEXT TIME,WHEN YOU LOVE LOVE HARD.LOVE IS A PRICELESS GIFT AND YOU CAN NEVER EVER RUN OUT. I LOVE YOU ALL,THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SPEND IT WITH ME.TO OPEN UP AND SHARE MY LIFE,FEELINGS,JOYS, PAIN.I AM GLAD TO SHARE THIS ROLLER COASTER RIDE CALLED LIFE WITH YOU.I NEVER KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO WRITE ABOUT UNTIL I AM DEALT MY CARDS.AS ALWAYS SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE RIDE.TAKE CARE THANKS FOR SPENDING TIME WITH ME TODAY.
XOXOXO
GOD BLESS
D.
I MOVED WIHT MY KIDS HERE TO ALBERTA A YEAR AGO FROM TORONTO.I KNEW THAT MY SON MY KIDS WOULD HAVE OT GO BACK AND VISIT AT SOME POINT.WELL...I THOUGHT I WOULD BE OK WITH MY SON GOING.I DIDNOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM GOING TO SEE HIS FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY ALONG WITH HIS FAMILY.I AM ASHAMED TO SAY I WAS A MESS TWO DAYS BEFORE HE LEFT WAS NOT ABLE TO SLEEP AT ALL.THE REALIZATION THAT MY SON IS GROWING,THE REALITY OF PACKING HIS BAG.
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I COULD NOT FEEL ANY WORSE,I WAS IN TEARS.AM I CRAZY??IS THIS NORMAL? AT THE MOMENT MY SON IS WITH HIS FATHER AND I KNOW HE IS SAFE THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT ,BUT I WANT HIM HERE.I AM HIS MOM WHENI AM NOT BEING MOM I GUESS I FEEL THROWN OFF.I COULD NOT SLEEP TILL MY SON'S PLANE LANDED AND HIS DAD TEXTED ME TO TELL ME HE WAS SAFE IN HIS HANDS.
MY DAUGHTER WILL BE GOING TO UNIVERSITY IN FOUR YEARS ,YES THAT IS A LONG TIME. TIME FLIES,YOU BLINK A FEW TIMES AND THE YEAR IS OVER. I AM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THE YEARS WENT MUCH LESS BEING IN 2010.THEN I THINK ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD AND HOW ANY MOTHER,BEING A MOTHER MYSELF CAN HURT HER CHILD.
CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING THERE ARE SOMANY WOMEN WHO WOULD BE GREAT MOTHERS AND CANNOT HAVE A CHILD.THEN THERE ARE WOMAN WHO HAVE THEM THEN DUMP THEM IN THE TRASH,ABUSE THEM,DUMP THEM LIKE YOU DUMP YOUR DOG AT THE POUND NOT EVEN.YET THEY ARE BLESSED WITH CHILDREN.
I LOVE BEING A MOTHER THAT IS MY BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT.THEY ARE WHAT I AM PROUD OF MOST,I CAN NEVER LET THEM LEAVE THE HOUSE OR GO TO BED WITHOUT HUGS AND TELLING THEM I LOVE THEM.STOP ACTING LIKE TOMORROW IS PROMISED BECAUSE IT IS NOT. SOMETHING YOU THINK THAT CAN NEVER HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS CAN HAPPEN IN A BLINK OF AN EYE. TREASURE IT.
ONCE YOUR DONE READING THIS GO TO THE ONES YOU LOVE ,TELL THEM WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART .YOU MAY NOT GET THE CHANCE AGAIN WHEN YOU SAY NEXT TIME,WHEN YOU LOVE LOVE HARD.LOVE IS A PRICELESS GIFT AND YOU CAN NEVER EVER RUN OUT. I LOVE YOU ALL,THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SPEND IT WITH ME.TO OPEN UP AND SHARE MY LIFE,FEELINGS,JOYS, PAIN.I AM GLAD TO SHARE THIS ROLLER COASTER RIDE CALLED LIFE WITH YOU.I NEVER KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO WRITE ABOUT UNTIL I AM DEALT MY CARDS.AS ALWAYS SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE RIDE.TAKE CARE THANKS FOR SPENDING TIME WITH ME TODAY.
XOXOXO
GOD BLESS
D.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
THEY SAY YOU SHOULD NOT LIVE IN THE PAST,GET OVER IT MOVE ON.THIS HAPPENED YEARS AGO,STOP DWELLNG IN THE PAST.HOW CAN YOU GET OVER YOUR PAST WHEN IT MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE.YOU ARE A PRODUCT OF YOUR ENVIROMENT,GOOD OR BAD YOU ARE A PRODUCT OF YOUR ENVIROMENT.
THEY SAY WHAT DOES NOT KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER,BULLSHIT THEN WHY DO I FEEL SO WEAK?WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I LOST THE FIGHT?I DO NOT KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE FEELS LIKE,IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN GIVEN IT.THEY SAY AS A CHILD OF ABUSE THEY SAY YOU SHOULD BE PROUD .WHAT IS THERE TO BE PROUD OF? A MOTHER WHO NEVER SHOWED YOU AN OUNCE OF LOVE.A MOTHER WHO MADE YOU FEEL LESS THEN ANY HUMAN SHOULD FEEL,TO MAKE IT WORSE YOU SAY IT TO A CHILD.HOW DO YOU SHOW COMPASSION TO SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT DESERVE IT?SHE IS THE MOTHER SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO SHOW ME LOVE,TEACH ME TO BE CONFIDENT,STRONG.HOW TO BE A MOTHER TO LOVE AND PROTECT HER CHILD,LOVE HER CHILD UNCONDITIONAL.I NEVER GOT A DROP OF THAT,EVER NOW THI HAVEE TABLE ARE TURNED AND I HAVE TO TAK E CARE OF HER NOW.BE THE LOVING DAUGHTER SHE NEVER TAUGHT ME TO BE.THE EVIL THAT IS HER MAKES ME WANT TO LET HER ROTT.WHY SHOW LOVE TO SOMEONE WHO NEVER LOVED YOU? I ANT TO SPIT IN HER FACE AND WALK AWAY,BUT MY HEART WILL NOT LET ME.WOW AIN'T THAT A BITCH.
I AM A MOTHER OF TWO GOD BLESSED ME WITH TWO PRICELESS CHILDREN,AND FUCK THEY DRIVE ME NUTS.I AM SURE YOU MOTHERS KNOW WHAT I MEAN.HATS OF WITH THOSE OF YOU WITH MORE THEN TWO SHIT I DO NOT ENVY YOU HAHA.MY POINT IT I LOVE MY CHILDREN ABOVE ALL ELSE,AND I WOULD KILL MYSELF BEFORE EVER LKETTING THEM GO THOUGH A DROP OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN THOUGH.THEY SAY WHEN A PARENT ABUSES THEIR CHILD THAT THEY CHILD WILL ONE DAY ALSO ABUSE THIER CHILD.AS A CHILD WHO GREW UP IN EXTREME ABUSE. BULL FUCKIN SHIT,DO NOT BELEIVE THE HYPE.IT IS A CHOICE,YOU DO NOT WAKE UP AND JUST TORTURE YOUR CHILD.I REMEMBER BEING A CHILD AFTER A AWEFUL BEATING AND SAYING TO MYSELF WHEN I HAVE KIDS I WILL NEVER EVER TREATT THEM THE WAY MY MOM TREATED ME.MENTALYY ILL OR NOT THERE IS NO EXSCUSE,I HATE ALL THOSE IN MY FAMILY WHO KNEW ABOUT IT AND DID NOTHING.UP TILL THIS DAY SHE IS MENALLY ILL. I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO BE A MOTHER AS A CHILD BUT I KNEW WHAT MY MOM WAS DOING WAS NOT MOTHERING THATS FOR DAMN SURE.
I HAVE FORGIVEN HER,BUTI WILL NEVER EVER FORGET.I HAVE SCARES THAT REMIND ME DAILY OF THE PAIN I GREW UP IN.THANKS GOD FOR THE HOME AND FAMILY I HAVE NOW,THE FRIENDS WHO ARE MY FAMILY.I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GET THOUGH THE STORMS THAT HAUNT ME.MY FRIENDS THAT HAVE MORE FAITH IN ME THEN I DO IN MYSELF.I AM SO BLESSED,THEY I CANNOT SAY FIXED ME I AM DAMAGED GOODS,BUT I STILL HAVE MY SELFWORTH.I CAN NOW SAY I AM WORTH SOMETHING WHENI WAS NOTHING TO MY MOTHER.I HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN A WOMAN CAN BE BLESSED WITH,THEY ARE A REMINDER THAT I AM WORTH SOMETHING HOW CAN I NOT BE.I LEARNED TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY WITHOUT BOARDERS,RESPECT PEOPLE NO MATTER THE RACE OR CREED.OPEN MY HEART AND STILL LOVE TO ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME EVRYDAY.I GET EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT TIMES LIVING WITH MY MOTHER AGAIN AFTER MOVING AWAY SINCE THE AGE OF 16.SHE STILL VERBALLY ABUSES ME,BUT I HAVE SOMETHING SHE WILL NEVER EVER HAVE AND THAT IS TO BE HAPPY.TO HAVE FRIENDS TO CALL WHEN I NEED TO LAUGH OR CRY.CHILDREN WHO DO LOVE ME AND I LOVE WITH EVERY BEAT MY HEART TAKES.I AM A MOTHER SHE TRIED TO DISTROY ME AND I MADE IT,I GET WEAK AT TIMES SHE GETS THE BEST OF ME.I JUST KNOW SHE IS ENVYOUS OF WHAT I HAVE,DISPITE ALL SHE DID TO BRAKE ME I AM STILL SMILING AND I TRY TO TELL MYSELF THAT WHEN SHE TRIES TO GET THE BEST OF ME.I HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILDREN UNLIKE HER AND I WHO HAVE NOTHING.SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER SHE WAS MY INCUBAITOR,THATS IT THE WOMAN I AM TODAY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER .I THANK MAUREEN A WRIGHT FOR SAVING ME IN THE DARKEST TIME OF MY LIFE.GIVING ME A HOME,SHOWING ME LOVE,TEACHING ME TO BE THE MOTHER I AM TODAY.I HAVE A FAMILY A GREAT EXTENDED FAMILY WOW I WAS ALONE AS A CHILD ,BUT I AM NOT LONGER ALONE NOW.I AM RICH IN THE WAYS THAT REALLY COUNT,I HAVE SOMETHING MONEY CANNOT BUY A REAL FAMILY,A BROTHER AND SISTER A NEPHEW.WOW WHO WOULD OF THOUGHT AN ONLY CHILD COULD END UP WITH SUCH A BIG FAMILY?I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE SO BLESSED WHAT I HAVE IS PRICELESS,MY MOM TOOK ALLOT AWAY FROM ME BUT AT THE END OF THE STORM.WELL...THE STORM IS NEVER REALLY OVER I HAVE SOMETHING SHE NEVER NOR EVER HAVE LOVE.I WANT TO THANKS ALL OF MY FRIENDS WHO HAVE LISTEN TO THIS SAME SAD SONG FOR YEARS ,YET THEY STILL LISTEN TO ME LAUGH ,CRY,YELL,VENT,OR SAY NOTHING YOU RE PRICELESS TO ME AND NEVER WOULD MAKE IT WITH OUT YOU.YET UP TILL THIS DAY SOME OF YOU FOR OVER 20PLUS YEARS HAVE PUT UP WITH ME AND I THANKS-YOU AND LOVE YOU.
THEY SAY WHAT DOES NOT KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER,BULLSHIT THEN WHY DO I FEEL SO WEAK?WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I LOST THE FIGHT?I DO NOT KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE FEELS LIKE,IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN GIVEN IT.THEY SAY AS A CHILD OF ABUSE THEY SAY YOU SHOULD BE PROUD .WHAT IS THERE TO BE PROUD OF? A MOTHER WHO NEVER SHOWED YOU AN OUNCE OF LOVE.A MOTHER WHO MADE YOU FEEL LESS THEN ANY HUMAN SHOULD FEEL,TO MAKE IT WORSE YOU SAY IT TO A CHILD.HOW DO YOU SHOW COMPASSION TO SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT DESERVE IT?SHE IS THE MOTHER SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO SHOW ME LOVE,TEACH ME TO BE CONFIDENT,STRONG.HOW TO BE A MOTHER TO LOVE AND PROTECT HER CHILD,LOVE HER CHILD UNCONDITIONAL.I NEVER GOT A DROP OF THAT,EVER NOW THI HAVEE TABLE ARE TURNED AND I HAVE TO TAK E CARE OF HER NOW.BE THE LOVING DAUGHTER SHE NEVER TAUGHT ME TO BE.THE EVIL THAT IS HER MAKES ME WANT TO LET HER ROTT.WHY SHOW LOVE TO SOMEONE WHO NEVER LOVED YOU? I ANT TO SPIT IN HER FACE AND WALK AWAY,BUT MY HEART WILL NOT LET ME.WOW AIN'T THAT A BITCH.
I AM A MOTHER OF TWO GOD BLESSED ME WITH TWO PRICELESS CHILDREN,AND FUCK THEY DRIVE ME NUTS.I AM SURE YOU MOTHERS KNOW WHAT I MEAN.HATS OF WITH THOSE OF YOU WITH MORE THEN TWO SHIT I DO NOT ENVY YOU HAHA.MY POINT IT I LOVE MY CHILDREN ABOVE ALL ELSE,AND I WOULD KILL MYSELF BEFORE EVER LKETTING THEM GO THOUGH A DROP OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN THOUGH.THEY SAY WHEN A PARENT ABUSES THEIR CHILD THAT THEY CHILD WILL ONE DAY ALSO ABUSE THIER CHILD.AS A CHILD WHO GREW UP IN EXTREME ABUSE. BULL FUCKIN SHIT,DO NOT BELEIVE THE HYPE.IT IS A CHOICE,YOU DO NOT WAKE UP AND JUST TORTURE YOUR CHILD.I REMEMBER BEING A CHILD AFTER A AWEFUL BEATING AND SAYING TO MYSELF WHEN I HAVE KIDS I WILL NEVER EVER TREATT THEM THE WAY MY MOM TREATED ME.MENTALYY ILL OR NOT THERE IS NO EXSCUSE,I HATE ALL THOSE IN MY FAMILY WHO KNEW ABOUT IT AND DID NOTHING.UP TILL THIS DAY SHE IS MENALLY ILL. I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO BE A MOTHER AS A CHILD BUT I KNEW WHAT MY MOM WAS DOING WAS NOT MOTHERING THATS FOR DAMN SURE.
I HAVE FORGIVEN HER,BUTI WILL NEVER EVER FORGET.I HAVE SCARES THAT REMIND ME DAILY OF THE PAIN I GREW UP IN.THANKS GOD FOR THE HOME AND FAMILY I HAVE NOW,THE FRIENDS WHO ARE MY FAMILY.I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GET THOUGH THE STORMS THAT HAUNT ME.MY FRIENDS THAT HAVE MORE FAITH IN ME THEN I DO IN MYSELF.I AM SO BLESSED,THEY I CANNOT SAY FIXED ME I AM DAMAGED GOODS,BUT I STILL HAVE MY SELFWORTH.I CAN NOW SAY I AM WORTH SOMETHING WHENI WAS NOTHING TO MY MOTHER.I HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN A WOMAN CAN BE BLESSED WITH,THEY ARE A REMINDER THAT I AM WORTH SOMETHING HOW CAN I NOT BE.I LEARNED TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY WITHOUT BOARDERS,RESPECT PEOPLE NO MATTER THE RACE OR CREED.OPEN MY HEART AND STILL LOVE TO ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME EVRYDAY.I GET EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT TIMES LIVING WITH MY MOTHER AGAIN AFTER MOVING AWAY SINCE THE AGE OF 16.SHE STILL VERBALLY ABUSES ME,BUT I HAVE SOMETHING SHE WILL NEVER EVER HAVE AND THAT IS TO BE HAPPY.TO HAVE FRIENDS TO CALL WHEN I NEED TO LAUGH OR CRY.CHILDREN WHO DO LOVE ME AND I LOVE WITH EVERY BEAT MY HEART TAKES.I AM A MOTHER SHE TRIED TO DISTROY ME AND I MADE IT,I GET WEAK AT TIMES SHE GETS THE BEST OF ME.I JUST KNOW SHE IS ENVYOUS OF WHAT I HAVE,DISPITE ALL SHE DID TO BRAKE ME I AM STILL SMILING AND I TRY TO TELL MYSELF THAT WHEN SHE TRIES TO GET THE BEST OF ME.I HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILDREN UNLIKE HER AND I WHO HAVE NOTHING.SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER SHE WAS MY INCUBAITOR,THATS IT THE WOMAN I AM TODAY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER .I THANK MAUREEN A WRIGHT FOR SAVING ME IN THE DARKEST TIME OF MY LIFE.GIVING ME A HOME,SHOWING ME LOVE,TEACHING ME TO BE THE MOTHER I AM TODAY.I HAVE A FAMILY A GREAT EXTENDED FAMILY WOW I WAS ALONE AS A CHILD ,BUT I AM NOT LONGER ALONE NOW.I AM RICH IN THE WAYS THAT REALLY COUNT,I HAVE SOMETHING MONEY CANNOT BUY A REAL FAMILY,A BROTHER AND SISTER A NEPHEW.WOW WHO WOULD OF THOUGHT AN ONLY CHILD COULD END UP WITH SUCH A BIG FAMILY?I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE SO BLESSED WHAT I HAVE IS PRICELESS,MY MOM TOOK ALLOT AWAY FROM ME BUT AT THE END OF THE STORM.WELL...THE STORM IS NEVER REALLY OVER I HAVE SOMETHING SHE NEVER NOR EVER HAVE LOVE.I WANT TO THANKS ALL OF MY FRIENDS WHO HAVE LISTEN TO THIS SAME SAD SONG FOR YEARS ,YET THEY STILL LISTEN TO ME LAUGH ,CRY,YELL,VENT,OR SAY NOTHING YOU RE PRICELESS TO ME AND NEVER WOULD MAKE IT WITH OUT YOU.YET UP TILL THIS DAY SOME OF YOU FOR OVER 20PLUS YEARS HAVE PUT UP WITH ME AND I THANKS-YOU AND LOVE YOU.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
HI,
IT HAS BEEN SO LONG THAT I AM NOT EVEN SURE WHAT TO SAY. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I DO ALL THE TIME,JUST LIFE DOES A NUMBER ONE EVERYONE AND YOU HAVE TO LET IT OUT.THEY SAY YOU SHOULD WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS DOWN IT HELPS YOU SORT SHIT OUT.
THIS BLOG IS MY WORLD DIANE'S WORLD WHAT I THINK AND FEEL. BE WARNED YOU MAY NOT ALWAYS LIKE WHAT YOU READ.JUST REMEMBER YOU CHOOSE TO COME ON MY BLOG, DO NOT GET MAD WHEN YOU ARE OFFENDED.YOU CHOOSE TO KEEP READING SO BY ALL MEANS BYE,SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS SURE,BUT I AM ALLERGIC TO BULLSHIT AND NONSENSE.ALL I AM SAYING PLEASE TAKE SOME THOUGHT INTO WHAT YOU SHARE BECAUSE I AM SHARING PERSONAL THINGS ABOUT ME .THIS IS A NO JUDGING ZONE,WE ALL GO THOUGH THINGS THAT BRING YOU TO YOUR KNEES.WHO FEELS IT KNOWS IT AND I HAVE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK AND STILL COUNTING.SO I LAY SHARE THE MOST PERSONAL PART OF ME HERE.
I KNOW I AM JUST BABBLING ON,I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY SO I GUESS I AM SETTING GROUND RULES.I WILL RESPECT YOU,I JUST REQUIRE THE SAME.
I HAVE WANTED TO WRITE FOR A WHILE,I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH LIKE DAMN.YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME SO PLEASE DO CHECK IN ANYTIME.TELL ME WHATS UP,WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS.BE REAL I AM NO BULLSHIT PLEASE,TAKE CARE BYE,
IT HAS BEEN SO LONG THAT I AM NOT EVEN SURE WHAT TO SAY. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I DO ALL THE TIME,JUST LIFE DOES A NUMBER ONE EVERYONE AND YOU HAVE TO LET IT OUT.THEY SAY YOU SHOULD WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS DOWN IT HELPS YOU SORT SHIT OUT.
THIS BLOG IS MY WORLD DIANE'S WORLD WHAT I THINK AND FEEL. BE WARNED YOU MAY NOT ALWAYS LIKE WHAT YOU READ.JUST REMEMBER YOU CHOOSE TO COME ON MY BLOG, DO NOT GET MAD WHEN YOU ARE OFFENDED.YOU CHOOSE TO KEEP READING SO BY ALL MEANS BYE,SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS SURE,BUT I AM ALLERGIC TO BULLSHIT AND NONSENSE.ALL I AM SAYING PLEASE TAKE SOME THOUGHT INTO WHAT YOU SHARE BECAUSE I AM SHARING PERSONAL THINGS ABOUT ME .THIS IS A NO JUDGING ZONE,WE ALL GO THOUGH THINGS THAT BRING YOU TO YOUR KNEES.WHO FEELS IT KNOWS IT AND I HAVE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK AND STILL COUNTING.SO I LAY SHARE THE MOST PERSONAL PART OF ME HERE.
I KNOW I AM JUST BABBLING ON,I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY SO I GUESS I AM SETTING GROUND RULES.I WILL RESPECT YOU,I JUST REQUIRE THE SAME.
I HAVE WANTED TO WRITE FOR A WHILE,I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH LIKE DAMN.YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME SO PLEASE DO CHECK IN ANYTIME.TELL ME WHATS UP,WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS.BE REAL I AM NO BULLSHIT PLEASE,TAKE CARE BYE,
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